Dear Mr/Mrs. Lo,
Thank you for your keen inquiry into whether your business account has been setup. As part of our bank's continuing cost saving and efficiency program, we assume that you should telepathically know the account has been setup along with a valid account number for sometime. Our bank has provided a humanoid taking inquiry messages pretending the bank is concerned with your well being and your business needs. Should you contact your Premier account relationship manager for any assistance, please understand that he/she can only provide you further phone numbers to contact in the SMB unit. Our bank has defined very fine and absolute compartmental procedures in inter-department communications. In short, in order to save cost and pass on the saving to you, we only provide our service half ass. Should you deem a full service is needed, we recommend either switching to a more competent bank or opening up a super Premier account; this new type of account will provide you with a plusher waiting area with more buttery cookies and a humanoid providing Nescafe instant coffee with processed cream.
Again thank you for your keen interest into your own business needs. We value your business. Please do not hesitate in contacting our bank again at our convenience. We are busy penetrating the Chinese market as well as plugging holes in the subprime mortgage fiasco due to the greed factor.
Should the telepathic communication is encountering problem between you and the bank, we do levy a small service fee at HK$100 per month for inquiry under 5 times.
Yours truly,
HSBC Banking Service Team
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Service excellence begin with US.
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