An experience

The Chinese certainly has a way of making things complex and gross. It's not a tradition; it's more like a superstitious and low quality of brain functions. A funeral, should be nice and respectful to the deceased. And shared the memories of the love one. But....

To start, before even a funeral or wake to begin the deceased birthday has to be calculated so that what ceremonies needed to be performed. Based on my grandma's birth date and time, she was to send down the hell. But with extra prayer, it can be broken and sent her back up; so we had this priest performing an extra ritual. We walked around in circle following the priest while he prayed. And at each "station stop", he used his staff breaking a tile with a "hellish animal face" symbolizing breaking the one of 9 layers of hell. We did that for nine times. Then, we had to lead the deceased thru two bridges to cross over to the other side. To symbolized that, we had her paper "altar" with dad holding it to walk over the paper bridge twice while we followed. At the end of that, everything was to be burned for her - cars, house, servants, the bridge and amongst other day to day used household items; and less but not least, lots and lots of money. I was surprised the US spy satellite did not pick up on the extra heat worrying about Macau firing missiles ( you know, we have that bank the US kept saying laundry North Korean money). The heat from burning the paper was intense. I thought there was a shortage of paper and the cost of that is high. And that was only one of many ceremonies.

Then, after the prayer services. There was one by the Buddhist monks directly from Hong Kong; from the temple in Lantau Island where the big Buddha sits on top of the hill. The head monk was there with six of his disciples. That lasted over two hours; we did a lot of kneeling, up and down, bowing, I was worry about dad's knees; there were certain "acts" of the prayer must be done by the Eldest son.

That lasted until 10:30pm at night. The ceremony began at 2:30pm. Very weird, prior to that, we were at the funeral hall by 2pm; we were suppose to "meet" our grandma. But someone she had been shipped and was in the process of being make-up in the back. Literally. The make-up guy, fully gown in protective outfit and all, came out and told us to take a look to ensure everything was fine. Huh? Well, everyone went in and looked. And my aunts and some uncles requested to place about 20 coins in my grandma's hands. After the cremation, we were suppose to find them and hand out to each of the family for good luck. Huh?

The body was fully dressed in a very loud traditional 'death robe'; even had a bandana on. Then she was covered by yet another loud 'death blanket' with lots of patterns. After all was done, she was encased in an air-conditioned casing; clear, of course, so people could see and paid their respects.

That was yesterday with all the ceremonies, burning of symbolic items that she would need in the after live, lots of praying, burning, praying, burning. And during some praying ceremonies, the "helper" from the funeral hall placed a yellow paper blanket on top of the body; it was for ...

Today, the "day" where we placed the body to the coffin and send for the crematorium. That by itself was another experience. We were all back at the funeral hall early meeting the "big house"; that's the Chinese way of saying the coffin. It arrived just before the 1030am departure for cremation. And a quick ceremony. First we all bowed our heads when the "big house" arrived and rolled in front of everyone thru the main hall into the back where the body was stored. Then we were all on our knees and the Chinese priest did his praying to lead the soul to the final resting place. After that, the announcer, yes there was one hired, to tell us bow again as the body is being placed in the coffin. The Chinese background was blaring in the background until the coffin was rolled out to the center of the funeral hall. Dad was told to stand at one end of the coffin and check the head's position ensuring it was centred. My two aunts came forward and checked my grandma's palms ensure there were 20 coins in her hands. The announcer actually dug thru and showed them. Everyone then did paid a final respect to the body by filing around it. Once that was done, the announcer told us to turn around before the coffin was being sealed up. As it was being done, he said lots of "lucky" phrases to the family. Since this body was to cremated in China, legal steps were taken like certification, wax seal. The coffin was rolled to the back of a bus; the front with family members. Dad said up front holding the "symbolized" grandma and a big incense. His second brother hold the picture as well as spreading the "road" money on the street for the deceased. We followed in three different vehicles.

Cutting thru the Chinese bother was not difficult using the special car route. But passengers still had to get off and walked thru to the immigration hall, took about 10 minutes. We then proceed to the crematorium about 30 minutes away. As we approached the gate, I noticed a sign: free range chicken. How odd to have a chicken farm just outside of the crematorium. When we arrived, the coffin was whisked to the back quickly while we went to a temporarily place to pay final respect, more incense and more burning. Then we went to the viewing area where the coffin was being rolled out to us for final viewing and the to the 'oven'. 35 minutes later it was done. The queen of Macau had a friend following the entire cremation process. It was because, if not, what you get is not "full". After the ashes were bring pulled from the 'oven' , he called us to have someone there to be the observers. So, dad, me, and two other close family members went; literally to the back of the crematory where the end of the 'oven' was. I was in the middle of it all. Go figure. The ashes just got spread on the floor in a designated circular area. Three guys, without gloves, went thru it like picking rocks. One guy used a magnet to pull off all the metals, nails. Then another guy pulling off all the burning wood fragments. Another guy pulling out whatever didn't seem "right", left by previous burnings. Then they all trying to locate all the coins left in the palms before. This was meant to be good luck. Yeah, ok. I saw fragments of bones and skull; the rest pretty much just ashes. All white. O yeah, they even found four calcified pills. Yeah, calcified. Go figure. Once everything was picked clean, the ashes were prepare to be placed in the urn. Very scientific approach, a garden shovel. First all large pieces of bones were pounded to smaller pieces, then shoveled into the urn. I was afraid won't fit; but one guy just kept hammering and grinding the pieces. Finally, everything fitted. Couple cloth wipes and it was handed to us, in the back of the 'oven'; no ceremony, no anything. Done. After all those fanfare and huge ceremonies and all, in the end, the bones were just scrapped off from the oven and pounced into small pieces. Big in, small out.

On the way back to Macau, the guy that 'observed' the entire process told us that he did the same to someone not long ago; he was very descriptive to his previous observation; apparently the door was opened for more 'intimate observation'; he described how the wood was split into half and then saw the head kinda exploded with brain gushing out; thanks buddie!

As traditional went, after the funeral is done; a meal was to prepared for guest who sent the deceased to the final resting place; we had our lunch at 2pm. Good thing, this time was not at the funeral parlor but at a real restaurant. I was really turned off by eating at the funeral parlor with the very traditional chinese vegetarian meal on top of another funeral hall while listening to other funeral ceremonial music going on in the background. I might have an imagery floating in my head next time I sit down and eat the very traditional chinese vegetarian meal.